Afternoon Eeeew…. Licking Penn Station
This is absolutely a true story, once I was sitting at the front of some pub on the east side and I saw a gaggle of frat guys and gals getting a little rowdy on the street in front. I kept my eye on them just to see if something funny would happen. As events unfold, at some point dude #1 gets down on his hands and knees and licks one square of the ground. It was the most grossest thing I ever saw, his tongue was black when he was done - keep in mind it was before garbage day so there were heaps and heaps of garbage on the ground right next to where he was licking. Clearly a bet, I watched eagerly to see the massive amounts of money that were about to change hands - I think it was a $20. You couldn’t get me to wake up for $20. I think that frat guy thought he’d be making time with the girl of his dreams - I am sorry to tell him that I strongly suspect said girl wanted nothing further to do with him and his black tongue for at least a week.
Anyway, unfortunately those were the days before youtube, so you’ll just have to do with this much less disturbing video of some dude trying to get his recommended daily allowance of tetanus off a Penn Station handrail.
Oh I forgot, in my story Dude #2 felt his manliness questioned so free of charge decided to dunk his tongue (ever so daintily) into a puddle of nasty, dog urine laden water on the sidewalk. Again, his chances of making time with his lady friend that evening? Same as my chances of raising Sun Tzu from the dead to have tea and vegan biscuits with.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:39 am
That was a great story. I saw it happening. I think we can all insert whatever group of frat guys we have seen outside a bar and it would be exactly the same. (you see the pre-worn out college hats now? *puke*)
I have a short frat story too. It’s 1993, winter in West Hartford Ct, makes winter in New York seem like a brisk spring day. 2 feet of snow outside, all classes canceled, massive drinking begins. In the middle of our quad was a trampoline and we all witnessed many funny drunken trampoline moments but this one takes the cake. Dudes jumping on the tramp thats covered in snow. All his friends are handing out of the windows yelling that he is too drunk and that he can’t see the edge. He does not listen but instead does the opposite and jumps twice as high. Now that he had established himself as “that guy” of the party his buddies stop trying to reason with him and start antagonizing him and egging him on. Even they saw this was an inevitable set of events so why not get a laugh out of it. Sure enough 30 seconds into it, he looses all gyroscopic abilities and flips half way around landing head first through the springs at the side of the trampoline. To add insult to an already embarrassing injury his face was completely buried in the snow. We couldn’t even hear him screaming. There he is vertically piercing the trampoline, one shoulder through the springs, head covered in the dense snow pack around the trampoline, slowly going limp. Took his friends a good 45 seconds to throw shoes on and get outside. He was cut up and bleeding but otherwise okay. We laughed for hours. Maybe the same dudes. :)
May 6th, 2008 at 9:36 am
lol. Damn… that’s a good sight to have seen! Also, man, I can’t believe your quad had a trampoline! All we had at UChicago were some libraries.
May 6th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
It’s not like the school wanted it there, but thats when bulk stores like Cosco started selling them for 100 bucks. Every time it would break or the school would take it away, the frats would buy another one. In the 2 years was in that quad there were around 4 or 5 trampolines destroyed.