Breakfast Links: Tropical Long Island Fish, Gym Wii Workout & Knights Templar sue Pope

I think this post has like the longest title ever. That must mean something…

Anyhooz, did you know that every year thousands of baby tropical fish get swept up in the Gulf Stream from their warm life in Florida and the Bahamas only to get deposited in the cold waters of Long Island? Yeah, and then the big aquariums come and capture them all for their own nefarious purposes, which actually probably works out well for those baby fish since they probably couldn’t live in the cold anyway and their bright colors probably wouldn’t have done so well for them in dull Long Island waters. How cool is that? Now I totally want to go to some LI beach where this crap is happening and see – I mean the dude says, “Some days, I go out and itâ€™s like Iâ€™m in the Caribbean.â€ I’m down with that, save me some ducats.

On the opposite tip, let’s say you’re paying your gym membership. I know, I know, the only workout you get is banging that space bar too hard sometimes when it gets stuck from that crumb that dribbled out of your mouth while you were eating that bag of vegan Oreos, but just go with this. Oh, wait, was that me? Whatever… You’re paying your gym membership, now your $110/hour personal trainer takes you off the treadmill and says, ok, let’s hit the Wii. Seriously. They want to charge you to play Wii sports. I should become a freaking personal trainer. Ok, now… hula hoop. Keep going… keep going… keep going… yeah, keep doing just what the Wii tells you to do. I’ll be back in 45… I’m back, good job! That’ll be $110.

You might want your money back if that happened. You know who else does? That’s right, the Knights Templar? You probably know those guys if you’ve read a book or watched a movie in the past 10 years. First of all, they’re not as suppressed as fiction would have us believe. They’re so not completely suppressed that they’ve up and decided to sue the Vatican for all those assets that were seized during that big suppression! (via) I guess this results from some Vatican papers that proved that the order was never actually declared heretic – the ostensible reason they got smacked down. Ok, I think they aren’t actually trying to get the money, they’re just trying to get the Pope to admit that he stole something like â‚¬100bn – in American that’s like 1 bajillion dollars.

poyla

Remember when we were at that bar, and you were lifting your hands to your mouth all night? That was a work out and you owe me $110.
fantastic

I have several comments to make as I procrastinate before heading out in a moment:

1. This marks the first time I am actually eating breakfast whilst I read your breakfast links. No sausages, however, meatless or otherwise.
2. My daily workout consists of removing the battery from the bottom of my laptop with a coin and going through a ridiculous series of steps which involve doing a jig before the computer will boot. Also, simultaneously pressing three keys to force-quit out of slow moving applications. That requires some dexterity and finesse.
3. btw, are you one of those who perpetuate the urban legend that the Vatican houses the largest pornography collection in the world? They don't. I asked. (Kidding.)

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