Breakfast Links: Britain’s Sperm Problem, Rent Neil Gaiman & Monopoly Quiz

Oh, Britain, you have so many problems. This country’s latest affliction is a horrendous shortage of sperm and you know here at #comments we’re very concerned about the world’s sperm donation issues. It turns out over there donation is voluntary (not paid like it is here in the states) and they just changed a law to allow children of sperm donors to find out who their biological dad was when they turned 18! Obviously, this is turning donor’s off. Come on, Britain, just pay for it! Alternately, this awesome (and potentially harmful) tanning injection may obviate the need for sperm donations.

Sigh. Anyhow, if you’ve ever wanted to rent Neil Gaiman for an afternoon, now is your big chance!! (via) With only a day and a half left in the bargain you can enjoy an afternoon tea with the man for only $850. It’s for charity. If that isn’t your speed, for only $849 you can enjoy an afternoon bubble tea with me. It will also be for charity, the charity I need to get me that $1149 MacBook Air. Yeah. You know it.

Finally you can prove your mad monopoly knowledge to the world. Or at least to yourself and then you can lie about how much you knew to the world. There’s now a Name the Monopoly Properties quiz! (via) You just keep typing in names of properties for 5 minutes! I got a whopping 11 out of 28, which is a metric hell of a lot more than you’re going to get, unless you lie and say you got more. Don’t think I don’t know how you roll. Don’t think. Do.

BONUS LINK: Ford sells Mazda… to Mazda! Which you will be excited about because I have a Mazda3. Aren’t you excited? Because I am dumb, I didn’t even know I was buying a Ford when I bought the Mazda, was that good or bad marketing on Ford’s part?

poyla

May as well call that tan injection drug "The Douche Bag Drug". Hey kids? Your look not douchey enough? Do you worship the Gotti kids? Is hair gel a traded commodity in your group of friends? Try the Total Douche Drug! Now you can look like a absolute douche bag, ALL THE TIME! Hurry while it's legal and your still young enough to not realize how much of a putz you are.

Japan is going to be hurting with 40% of it's foreign investors.....us, no longer in the mix. I see a scary merge coming, and then when the economy recovers, an ugly re-separation. We may even get some new small American car companies! How cool would that be?

#comments